Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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