you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
