allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
