Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
