Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
