whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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