She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
whose parrot is this?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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