i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
