For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
