this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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