I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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