My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
