YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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