i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
