I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
