I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
