I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
