he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
