i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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