I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize