remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize