Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
