D3 body, D1 cock
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
