What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
