Small penises have feelings too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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