Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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