so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
