Have you finally orgasmed yet?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
