hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I want to make a zoo with you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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