Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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