I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
