I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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