I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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