i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
