My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
