Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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