everyone is single if you try hard enough
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
