i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
