PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
