I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize