are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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