u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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