the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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