ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
