i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
