She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
