i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
