bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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