Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
