He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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