return my video game
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
