i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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