So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
