So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
