I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
