Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
