Yo dont text me then not text me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
