Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i think im in europe. pls send help
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
