Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
