If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize