over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
