The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
