what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
we should paint friendship bongs
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
