i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
vagina is talking i cant
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
