Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
