Banned from zoo.
Again?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
