you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
