so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We just shotgunned beers for America
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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