i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
