I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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