Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
