Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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