so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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